Sing:How We Like It
by MirrorDerivative
Summary: The group has finally finished the New Moon Theater and are ready to put on a new performance! With the show coming up Buster wants Johnny to push his comfort zone again. This story will be written from Johnny's perspective, and will follow along with him through everything. This story will be JohnnyxAsh centric, and is still be story driven, not just romance! Please review!
1. Chapter 1:I'm Doing What?

Sing How We Like It

Just a minor plot bunny that got caught in my head and wouldn't leave so, here I am trying my hand at creative writing. I will be writing from Johnny's perspective and doing my damndest to follow along with the Proper English speaking syntax and such, so as an American this will hopefully not fail miserably. Enjoy

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Chapter 1: I'm Doing What?

It took a few months but the New Buster Moon Theater was finally finished and had become what Buster and Nana had envisioned. It had gorgeous pale marble walls again, just like the old theater, but was now featuring multiple, towering aquariums that brought a level of beauty and lighting that could enrapture any that saw it. I was glad that I could call this my work place. Every Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday, plus time on the weekends if you want, but I can't really come other days because I have to run the garage and visit my dad on Mondays. And let me tell ya, paying bills while trying to live your own life is depressingly hard, but with the little family I found in the theater, it's all at least tolerable. And this next performance that Mr. Moon is putting on should help with payments for a little while..hopefully.

This morning was great! I was working on a truck that I thought was going to take a bloody week and a half but only took a few days; my favorite deli gave me a free sandwich for being their best customer, and I was able to pay the bank on time! But it got a real surprise when I went to practice.

Buster, his voice larger than the theater most days, woke us all up with his,

"Hello Everyone! Today we will be discussing (and hopefully) deciding on our set list for the performance in a few months! Now, I have some suggestions that will hand out to you, but feel free to talk to me should you want a change! All good? Okay, let's get to work people!"

When handed me my setlist, it was the normal "Thank you" and the shakey "You're welcome Jhonny", but that's where the normalities ended, because at the very top the paper said in bold letters, " **SEE ME NOW** ", whilst still having the rest of the songs and dress. I didn't really pay attention to much of else on the page because I was puttin' some hustle into playin' catch up to Mr. Moon, little bugger had hauled it off to his office on the third story before you could blink. By the time I got up there he was goin' through paperwork just like he had been for weeks.

I opened the door and waited in front of him for awhile but he 'adent looked up for a few minutes so I cleared my throat and said,

" 'Ello Mr. Moon",

It seemed to 'ave startled 'im a tad, but he responded jovially nonetheless,

"Ah, Johnny, glad that you got up here so fast, I wanted to speak with you about the upcoming performance,"

before he could go any further I butted in,

"Mr. Moon, I'll be prepared for this, but my schedule is really packed with everything, and no matter 'ow much I want to come in more I just can't,".

Mr. Moon held up his hand whilst shaking his head, "Nonono that isn't what I called you in for, I know how hard you work kid. No, I wanted to talk about you getting lessons."

That caught me off guard. "I thought I had pretty much mastered playing the piano Mr. Moon? I mean I can play most pieces with small mistakes the first times through." Mr. Moon used his pen to tap the paper in my hands that I was holding out to him,

"Did you not read the setlist?" I rubbed the back of my head and responded,

"Er..No not really, I kinda got nervous when I read the top I just booked it up 'ere," so now I took the second I had to skim it now that I had the chance.

 **SEE ME NOW**

*recommended songs and wardrobe can be discussed if needed

Johnny recommended songs:

On the Rocks by Ken Ashcorp

Break Even by the Script

Thinkin' Out Loud by Ed Sheeran

Wish I Knew You by the Revivalists

Feeling Good by Michael Buble

*recommended to learn Guitar or Bass

Set will be leading in performance

"Ahhh Mr. Moon? It says here I should be playin' a guitar? Isn't that Ash' gig?"

"Why yes it is Johnny, but I can also feel that you have massive potential with how quick you can learn instruments! Thinking on it now, I wish I recommended the Bass and maybe the Violin. Could you imagine it? Big guy like you that everyone knows has some soul, now you add to that mix with some classic romantic songs or even some rock and you have a guy that everyone loves that can hot every range! People will love it!,"

With the passion Mr. Moon spoke it was hard to NOT see what he meant, but at the same time..

"Sir, I've never set my 'ands on a stringed instrument in any way, I don't think I could just ' **learn** ' in the time we 'ave Mr. Moon."

"Oh don't worry about it Johnny, if we see that you really can't we can just draw up a new setlist no worries!"

I didn't need to really think about it now, the decision was practically making itself for me.

"Okay, I'll do it sir."

"Great! Well we better go talk to Ash about those lessons,". That froze me pretty quick, my immediate thought was about her own set and I was about to voice that concern when I hear Ash's voice behind me,

"How ya doing big guy?"

"Fairly well for me, how're you Ash?"

"Pretty good, what's this I hear about you picking up a guitar?"

AN: Formatting change suggestion from User Jack. , hopefully this will help it flow now. thank you for the suggestion man!


	2. Chapter 2: When Do We Start?

Chapter 2: When Do We Start?

Previous Chapter Summary: Starting the new show, Buster has Johnny try to pick up playing a new instrument, and recommends their resident rockstar to help teach him.

"Pretty good, what's this I hear about you picking up a guitar?"

I paused a bit and felt heat creep up my cheeks,

"I don't know, Mr. Moon wants me to try playing the guitar I guess, but I don't think I have the time right? I mean, we only have two months before premiere!"

Ash tilted her head a bit, scratching the side of her face in thought,

"Well it depends, if you can learn how to play a guitar as freakishly fast you mastered playing the piano, it won't be tooooo bad, especially with my glorious self as your teacher," we both chuckled, but I still had some doubts about taking her time away from her set and I mentioned as much, but she quickly shut me up.

"I won't be wasting time on you Johnny, not only am I your friend but God knows I have the free time. Besides this should be fun yeah?" I laughed along with her and agreed,

"Yeah, this should be loads of fun, so when do we start?" she laughed,

"Now would be a good time but uh..you're missing something extremely necessary for learning to play, one key element," I cocked my head a bit genuinely confused, what could I possibly be missi-...

"I don't have a guitar." Ash nodded her head sagely, eyes closed and all like she was listening to philosophical wisdom,

"Yeah that's pretty important big guy, and you reeeally can't use mine, it would be funny to watch you try though." I laughed along with her,

"Yeah it is a bit tiny id'nt it," Ash nodded still fighting off some giggles,

"Yeah, hey, if you have the time right now I know a shop we could go to downtown, they might have some stuff your size." I took a quick look at my watch underneath my sleeve and seeing it was half past noon I said,

"Yeah I got time, if it runs long enough we should grab some lunch too yeah?" she nodded,

"Yeah, getting there will probably take the most time, it's kind of in an out of the way spot," she explained at my questioning look. I nodded, taking another peak at my watch,

"Sure, let's head out now so we can atleast get ahead of the traffic." She agreed and we split up.

We both went back into our spaces to grab our stuff, for me it was my satchel and phone, for Ash it was her case, backpack and phone. We both said bye to Rosita and Gunter who were working on a classical piece which was surprising for Gunter, he was really into more grand, loud movements but he seemed to be getting really into these ballroom dancing classes. Rosita was really making the song beautiful though, and her voice was quoted by to be "With training, could be like one of the greats," which was probably the greatest praise she had given to any of us. Don't get me wrong, she isn't a bad person, she is just a bit..frigid would probably be the best descriptor. Obvious disdain for Ash's brand of rock n' roll, and only mild acceptance of my rendition of I'm Still Standing by Elton John. She absolutely adored Rosita and Meena; Rosita for her balancing a home life of 25 children and still following her dreams and Meena for the raw power in her voice. I felt a bit put out but she IS our sponsor and we literally would not be where we were today if not for her so..who cares what she said behind our backs.

We both packed up and headed out to my old black pick up which was just a tad to high for Ash to get into on her own, especially with all her gear so I helped her throw it in, and gave her my hand to use as a boost. She took it and gave me a slight smile before bucklin' up in the middle seat where the seatbelt could actually do something to protect her should somethin' happen drivin'. I got in and buckled up too, and started up the truck so it could get a bit warm before we pulled out. As it was, the temperature was dropping steadily, which was the only reason I didn' skate over to save gas. Probably would've frozen my bloody ears off. Turning the heat up and rubbing the wheel to heat up the leather at least somewhat, I peaked over to Ash who I saw was shivering a bit, so I took off my leather jacket and draped it over her to hopefully stave off the cold before the truck could heat up. She whipped her head up when she felt the weight of it, the damned thing being at least 3 times her size if not a bit more. She looked at me questioning but grateful for the heat so I answered the unasked question anyway,

"Didn' want you catchin anything nasty from the cold, you looked like you needed it anyways.", she blushed a bit and looked away while she rubbed her hands together,

"Thanks big guy, 'ppreciate it" I smiled a bit and looked back up to road preparing to pull out, and finding my gap taking the gap with a liberal use of the gas. This had the un-fortunate (or fortunate dependin' on who's askin') effect of pushing Ash into my side where she punched me in the side lightly,

"Don't do that without warning me Johnny! Jeesus you drive like a bat outta hell!" I immediately let off the accelerator and scratched my cheek where I felt the heat rising up,

"Sorry Ash, I'll try to be a bit slower, it's kinda just how I learned," she rolled her eyes,

"Who did you learn from, a getaway driver?" she said sarcastically, I paused for a bit…

"Yes actually, he was my uncle Barry," her eyes widened a bit and mouth opened ever so slightly,

"O shit I totally forgot big guy, I'm sorry!" She seemed earnest and I didn't really care as much anymore anyway, it was all a matter of public record to know my father was a criminal, and it didn't take a genius to know that I had to have had some idea, luckily nobody seemed to have put together that I was apart of a lot of those heists since I turned 15. Either that or they thought I was forced into it...I don't know what's worse honestly. She still seemed worried I was upset, so I flashed her a smile and refocused onto the road, I had my regular radio station playing that had some good pop songs but mostly some oldies, I knew it wasn't really Ash's slice of pie so I shifted it into a more classic rock station that I don't particularly mind, especially when Ash immediately seemed to get into the music a bit more..I asked for a few more directions than I would have usually but I had never even SEEN this side of town, or at least not in anyway to remember in any certain detail, although that pawn shop looked awful familier.

After a few more turns and some backtracking, we finally arrived at a little music shop that had a few faded posters of some popular bands from a few years ago. I shot a look at Ash because the windows were dirtier than some of the engines I've worked on with my Dad, and the shop looked like it hadn't seen business since I've been alive. Ash didn' have any problems and walked right up and through the door that emitted a horrible screechin' that had me, and I'm sure ever other person in a 5-mile radius, clenching their ears in pain. I followed her in and had to stop and blink at what I saw. Everything had this nice dark finish that was as close to ebony you could get whilst still being brown, all of the dark shelves filled with CD's, records, even bloody cassette tapes too! The floor was thickly carpeted with a creme shag, and some soft, warm lighting kept everything lit up but they left everything with a soft golden light. On the back wall was a showcase of what looked like different styles of guitars, one even had two necks and set of strings! On the left were some drum kits and other percussion instruments. Ash was up towards a counter off to the right talking to an older looking gentleman who had a wild shock of silver-y grey hair and a beard the had me feeling a little self conscious about my own lack of facial hair. I walked up to her and the man as Ash started to laugh a bit, while the man chuckled deep and lowly, the way that only someone with a voice that rumbles like an earthquake. I stopped behind Ash and waited a bit, Ash obviously was familiar with this guy so I waited to be either introduced or given the chance. They stopped pretty quick and he looked over to me as he tailed off on the chuckle. It felt like I was being judged by a giant, so I stuck out my hand to him and introduced myself,

"H-Hello sir, how do ya'do?" I hated the way my voice shook, but the man had the presence of a war general, and I would not be surprised whatsoever if Ash told me he was a soldier at some point (turns out he was). He looked me up and down, and I felt kind of self-conscious in my usual oil stained, faded jeans, a new dark green shirt and my dads old leather jacket that looked obviously "well loved". I heard him huff out of his nose and without releasing my hand from his iron tight grip, he turned his head to Ash and asked in a voice that had absolutely no business coming from a person,

"This that kid you keep talking about? Jimmy or something?" Ash and I blushed for seperate reasons but Ash spoke up before I did,

"Johnny, and yes it's him," the mountain of the man looked back at me and I swore I could hear stone grinding as he turned back over to me and he rumbled out,

"Did you really learn how to play the piano that well in a few weeks?" he had his eyebrows raised as he asked, like he couldn't believe it, I stood up a bit straighter,

" Yes sir, I can play the piano fairly well,". He let go of my hand after a second and pointed over my shoulder,

"Show me" I turned around and sitting behind a larger display case showing some fancy saxophone or some such, I was more attracted to the absolutely stunning black grand piano that looked like it had been polished everyday since it was created. I looked back over to him and asked permission without saying anything,

"Well if you can play the piano without a piano I would be even more impressed, go play," It wasn't exactly a command, but there was no denying that he wanted me to go over and play. I walked over and brushed my hand along the keys, feeling the grain on top of the pale ivory place holders I looked back over and asked about it,

"Is this real ivory?", he looked a little pleased about the question,

"Yes it is, but not from an elephant, it is seal tusk ivory. Less expensive, same quality, and a lot less damaging to the animals themselves, good eye." feeling a little lighter to know he didn't have a resentment towards me, I sat down at the professionally handcrafted throne in front of the piano (throne being the actual term for the small bench that pianists sit down on). This was a HUUUUGE difference than the small "Pony" piano that I had played and learned on with Miss. Crawley. I ran my hand over the keys once more, doing my best to familiarize the new, slightly larger spacing before I started to play anything. I set my hands into position and took a deep breath, feeling both the old man and Ash's eyes heavy on my back, before I started playing.


	3. Chapter 3: Does the Guitar Choose Me?

Chapter 3: Maybe This Can Work

I started playing a cover for a song I was trying to get the hang of, and I knew that it was a good choice just because of that. As Dangerous Woman by Ariana Grande started to ring out from the grand piano, I started to sing softly to myself to focus. I felt the grain under my fingers tremble underneath my fingertips as I started getting into the song, that passion I feel every time I performed for someone, that candle flame erupting into an inferno as I felt the music get released from me, conducting through me and within me. I lifted my head with a high note as I sang and connected eyes at first, a small group that had been in the store that had come to watch. And then my eyes landed on Ash. She had her eyes closed and a smile on her face, the one you see when someone plays their favorite song at the right time in a day and it undoes all of the stress from the day. It was the look of a musician understanding and connecting with another artists song, and getting lost in it. It was a look I wanted to keep on her every time I played. It was a look that made my heart beat hard and my breath come swift. She opened her eyes and looked at me with that smile. It took my breath away, well and truly. I felt heat creeping up my face so I looked back down at the keys and continued with the set. After another minute, I forgot all about that embarrassing moment, I let my head rise back up with my eyes closed. I knew I had the same doofy smile I always got when I sang like this, biting my bottom lip a bit; it was a habit I picked up from my dad when I was younger, back when my mum was still with us, back when things were normal, no not really normal, just simpler. Where I only had to worry about class and what mum packed for my lunch, not if I would ever see my father out of a jail cell, not if I was going to make ends meet. working out didn't work for me like it did my dad, But this..music was always MY release, it was what I did to get away from everything. I felt the world fall away again, that little bit of space that was just MINE and music, where I knew I could be well and truly myself, no worries about my father being disappointed, no people telling what I should and shouldn't do. I was me for that last minute and a half of the song, but for me it felt like both an eternity and less than a microsecond. I opened my eyes a bit at the last note and saw everyone standing with a big smile and then the applause erupted! Who knew that few a people could make that much noise? I got up and bowed a bit at the waist and started walking towards the crowd to get to Ash and said to everyone,

"Thank you guys! I really appreciate you putting up with all the noise!" I said the last bit with a laugh while people gave out some "Good Job!" and "Nice cover!" towards me. I finally got up to Ash and suddenly felt a bit nervous,

"How'd I do?" I asked, and she laughed at me and punched my arm,

"You fuckin' crushed it Big Guy, lets go over to Travis, he's the one you had to impress...Oh and Ariana Grande? Really didn't take you to be the type bud," we both laughed a bit at that and started to walked over to where Travis ('xpected his name was something much larger like The Mountain, or Goliath or Montgumery, but Travis? Really?) was sitting behind the counter leafing through a small red journal it looked like. Ash thankfully took care of the talking, again, or else I would have probably thrown all of the good favor that I have built up from the song out the nearest window.

"Heya Travis whatcha think about the big guy, I TOLD you that he could do it!" I felt touched about the level of confidence she has in me, but I was mildly worried how the severe man would like it.

"You did tell me that he was good, but there should be no possible way he got that good so quick, so how'd you do it kid?" It took me a quick second to realize he asked me the question, so I answered with the first thing on my mind,

"Loads of work, I spent almost all my time practicing, not on something as grand as that piece of artwork you 'ave in the showroom, i mean..I had some lessons when I was a kid, I was about 6 at the time I believe," I was rambling at that point, and I know I would have started digging my grave even faster if Ash had not intervene when she did.

"I'm telling you Travis, when he started he couldn't consistently hit a cord for his life, no offence, but now he can flawlessly hit pretty much anything you throw at him! And he has the voice to back it up too" I blushed a bit at the praise but waited for Travis to say anything, it was his opinion that meant alot to us right now, I mean bloody hell he was the reason I belted out the song in the first place. He stopped flipping through his notebook and looked back up to me nodding a bit as he did so,

"Yeah kid, you're good, that's for sure, and if you're in my shop you probably aren't looking for a piano to play, cause no offence kid, I stock quality, and quality mostly means expensive." I nodded with him, taking another look at the work of art that he called a piano and looked back to him.

"I'm actually here for a new instrument, suggested an acoustic guitar or maybe a bass guitar. To be perfectly honest I don't really know which would be best, let alone how to play either!" I ran my hand through the front of my hair again out of some exasperation, I didn' even know how to hold the bloody things! Travis looked back up with a look in his eye, this glint I only ever saw on my father when we walked into this little auto shop we frequented, mainly because it was run by a family friend, but also because this shop always had something new and more importantly, something my dad wanted.

"He wants you to learn how to play some strings now hmm? What do you most feel comfortable with when it comes to music, being right up front and more 'with the crowd' or are you just sitting back and giving a good, pardon the pun, base to the song itself." This kinda stumped me a bit, I had only had the one performance but I wasn't really playin' for the people, I was playin' for me, and for the friends I had made at the theater. So that's exactly what I told him, every bit of emotion I felt when playing laid bare for the first time in words, and it still felt so inadequate. Travis seemed taken aback for a second, before he seemed to consider something in his head before finally responding.

"I didn't ask for any philosophical mumbojumbo boy," my ears burned from the chastisement, "but you obviously got some heart in ya, so you'll try out a classic six string acoustic, and if you feel that isn't right we'll put you on a bass," I perked up so fast I almost lost my balance before shaking his enormous hand vigorously,

"Thank you so much sir for be willing to help me, it means alot," He pulled back his hand and waved it in the air as if to clear something from the air,

"Don't worry about it kid, Ash said you're good, and you obviously have a drive for music, I figure it would be bad for business to kick you out, especially considering my best customer is hangin' off your arm," I looked down at the same time Ash looked up at me and we both immediately took a half step away like we were burnt by the lack of distance between us,and looked away.

"Come on lover boy," Travis chuckled out, "Let's get you kitted out," we followed the massive fellow around the corner onto a small circular room that had deep gray shag carpeting, and some soundproof foam pieces placed in a neat concentric pattern on the walls, going up to the slightly taller roof. He pulled out some keys from his pocket, bright red lanyard having the words 'RED CROSS' emblazoned on the front, and unlocked a cabinet that held a painted black acoustic guitar that looked well built, but was more for use than showing off and I immediately started liking it. I didn't know who fender was but they obviously knew what they were doing when it comes to instruments.

Travis fiddled with the little knobs at the top, apparently tuning it just by ear alone which impressed the heck outta me. It woulda' taken me half an hour with an electronic tuner to figure what the bloody hell I was doing. He handed it to me and I held it out a bit more so the glossy black paint could catch some more of the warm lights that were in the room, giving the guitar an almost golden aura around it. I absolutely fell in love with the instrument right then, and promised myself that come Hell or high water I was going to master playing the guitar,


	4. Chapter 4:Maybe This Will Be Easy?

AN: I spent a lot of time lately getting settled down with a new job and college courses. There's another paragraph I could write about my declining mental health, but instead I just want to say sorry I didn't update the way I should have been, I hope this extra long chapter will appease the gremlins.

After a few more minutes of Travis telling me how to properly keep my new guitar maintained and tips to not treat it, "Like some tramp after prom," I made my purchase and packed everything up whilst Ash chatted with him man a bit more. I was focused trying to put everything away neatly so I wasn't quite focused on the conversation, but I lifted my head up when I heard my name,

"Hmm?" I asked. Ash looked over at me,

"Oh we we're just making a bet to see how long you're going to take to learn how to play competently, I'm putting you down for about 3 weeks and Travis has you for about 4," I really appreciated their votes of confidence but I have to admit, I don't know if that would be feasible and I said as much. Ash laughed it off though,

"Then no one wins and we finally found something you can't learn in a freakishly short time." We all got a chuckle out of that, especially when Travis started muttering about how he should win if I do fail. After a few more minutes, I picked up my new black solid wood guitar case with one hand and waved to Travis with the other,

"Thanks a load for helpin' me out sir, and thank you again so much for letting me play on your piano, it's something I won't be forgetting anytime soon," He waved me off, shaking his head as he did,

"It's no problem kid, you treated her like the queen she was, it was a pleasure to see someone who appreciates the tools as much as the music, it's rare these days. Keep your nose clean kid, I'll be seein' you around." And with his last word he walked back into his shop and let the door close over the bell once more, leaving us snow-blinded from our eyes being adjusted to the dim lights. I blinked a few times to get the sunspots out of my eyes, before looking to Ash,

"Wanna go grab that lunch? It's about a quarter past noon," I asked when I checked my watch under my sleeve. I was shocked by the time that flew by, it was barely 11 when we left the theater, and the drive only took 30 minutes at the most! We hustled over to my truck, the cold already seeping through my leather, I can only imagine how Ash is feeling in the little sweater, setting my case down in the bed along with Ash's and strapped them down fairly tightly. Call me paranoid but I dropped a solid amount of cash on that thing and I bloody well won't let the damned thing get whipped around at 40 miles an hour, especially with the chance of it getting thrown out into traffic! I helped Ash into the truck 'cause the step was just a bit to high for the petite girl, and got in on my side. I started 'er up as usual and let it idle to warm it up, and turned up the heat to fight the frost build on the windscreen. I let out a breath and watched the steam curl up so I turned the vents towards us a bit to warm us as well, shivering a bit as the edge of the chill was taken off, only to feel a trembling besides me. Looking over I saw Ash almost completely curled up against the seat, knees to chest, doing everything she could to absorb the heat coming out of the vents. Feeling bad, I immediately draped my jacket over her like a blanket, knowing that, sure I'll be cold, but the smile she gave was worth every bit of discomfort from me. We both buckled up and I pulled out nice and slow on the icy road, every bit of movement making a hell of a difference, and I sure don't have the time to fix any dents and scratches if I _do_ loose control, so for once in my short driving carrier I actually went the speed limit. I know it's a shocker, but Ash looked relieved so I figure it was a good time for firsts today. After makin' a few turns, I finally asked what Ash wanted to have for lunch and, jokingly, I suggested some Ice-cream. Ash laughed with me for a bit before saying,

"Ya know I was actually feeling like a milkshake right about now, and I know this little 60's diner that has REAL malts," she said malts like it was something super rare so I, like many other men, opened my mouth like a jackass,

"What's the difference?" And I could swear I _felt_ a shift in the atmosphere in the truck. Like instead of sitting next to a five foot nothin', 100 pound soaking wet with change in her pockets girl, the same girl that you could have told me was just a small town girl, possibly living in a lonely world… But it genuinely scared me, I felt like I was in my truck with a tiger, no not scary enough...a honey badger. I looked over, _real_ slow, never making any quick movements. She was looking at me smiling wide, eyes shadowed by her hair, and a slight twitch in her left eye. And then she whispered,

" _What's the difference?_ " I widen my eyes a bit, and pulled over to the curb, and none too soon because she unbuckled and lept at me in one motion, which would have been impressive if I wasn' about to DIE. She grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and started throttling me like I was a bloody Raggedy Anne doll! All the while shouting and raving about,

"THE DIFFERENCE IS LIKE WHITE CHOCOLATE TO DARK YOU DUNCE!." I swerved all over the road, trying and failing to survive the onslaught of the petite monster beating the ever loving shit out of me. I hear at least 5 different horns from cars behind me and , by the grace of God might I had, I was able to semi pullover and park and just in time too, cause Ash just decided that shaking me wasn't enough and was resorting to using her (surprisingly rough) hands to "slap some sense into the non-believer".

"OI Ash I get it! I'm sorry, I understand the difference now!" I tried to get my hands at least around my face to protect myself from getting my eyes scratched out, but the second I said those words it was like a bloody flip was switched. She immediately stopped smacking the absolute shit out of me and giggled slightly maniacally, and patted my head like I was a child.

"Good good, now let's get going, I'm hungry after all that teaching," she sat back down without a care in the word and buckled up like none of that ever happened, not even a hair out of place on her head (thought that may have been due to the copious amount of hair product, but still, it's impressive). "Don't leave your mouth open Big Guy, you'll catch flies," I immediately shut my mouth with a _click_ and shook myself to get rid of the shock from the entire ordeal, and scratched the back of my head.

"Alright then.." I put the truck in gear and pulled out again, only belatedly realizing I had ironically pulled in front of a small boating store with a sign saying "Size doesn't matter" with a picture of a small row-boat underneath. Ignoring the innuendo, I pulled away from the curb and navigated to the diner that we picked, which thankfully was only a few blocks away. Pulling into the diners parking lot (thankfully near empty) whilst looking at the small neon sign proudly announcing "Jamie's Classics" and in smaller font underneath "As American as apple pie". I personally prefer rhubarb, but the adage seems to work for the interior for sure, a HUGE American flag took center piece on the right wall, along with several posters of movies with signatures, one being from Elvis, another right next to it from Yelvis funnily enough. A pin-up of Marilyn Monroe (That I wasn't staring at I swear) and other memorabilia throughout the years. The coolest I saw by far, was an entire wall taken up by license plates from all over the states, with the front end of a car that was proudly labeled as a '69 Stingray. I may love singing and instruments with a passion, and I love it well and truly, but my Dad made sure I grew up a motor head, and the Stingray was the pinnacle of design and class back in its day, and many (including my Father) argue that it outclasses anything in today's vehicles. I liked the car, sure, but I've always argued that the Cobra was an art piece, not just a vehicle, even if the thing was made to be a race car. Shaking my head a bit to get away from the car, I looked back to Ash and sent her a playful glare and a raised eyebrow,

"I feel like you're trying to take the British outta' me Ash"

"A girls gotta try Big Guy, the food alone is enough to defect, I mean come on! What kinda culture needs to put _Vinegar_ on their food to make it taste better!"

"What kind of culture needs to load everything and anything they can with cheese, fat and salt?" while we were going tit for tat at the receptionist podium, a waitress had come up and was smiling at the byplay.

"Would y'all want to have a table or a booth? The bar is open too if you want to have a seat there?"

We paused long enough to smile at the nice woman, and both say "Booth please" before going right back at it,

"The only difference between yogurt and America, is that if you leave yogurt out for 200 years it can grow a culture _and_ stay fat free,"

She laughed, "That's a good one Big Guy, I'll have to remember that." We arrived at our booth and sat down as the waitress put down our menus,

"Hi, I'm Marcell and I'll be your waitress this evening, could I start you with our home-brew sweet tea or one of our famous malts?" She had a classic southern drawl that was as thick as my own accent and a smile that seemed natural on her face.

"I don't know about me, but she's been cravin' one of these malts since I mentioned food," I felt Ash kick me in the shin under the table, and give me a look that promised murder if I didn't shut my mouth. Ash looked at the waitress with a smile sweet enough to give you a toothache,

"Ignore him, I'll have your cookies and cream malt and he'll have the coffee and a normal chocolate malt."

"Absolutely, do you want the malts now or with your meal?"

"Now would be good, oh and can we have water too?"

"Yup, do you need any time on the menu or do you have an idea of what you're having?"

"No, we're going to look it over for a bit, thank you"

"No problem doll, I'll check back in a bit," and she left with a snap of her gum and a swish of her hips. I turned back to Ash with an eyebrow raised,

"You two know each other?" She shook her head a little,

"No, I may love the malts and shakes here but I can't come all that often, money hasn't been exactly stable before Moon came into the picture," she laughed a bit and winked at me, "I also gotta keep this girlish figure too, I have to worry about putting on weight unlike you,"

I held up my hands in defense,  
"Hey hey, I go to the gym a lot! I don't just eat everything I see," She laughed and looked at me with a smirk on her face, pushing herself off her side to sit onto mine,

"Oh look at you, Broad and Muscular over here," while she jokingly squeezed my upper arm. She paused a bit after she did, her eyes widening a bit, "Damn Johnny, I thought you were joking! Do you live in a gym or some shit?!"

I laughed and rubbed the back of my head with my free hand,

"No, but I have a weight set in the shop, so sometimes I just pass the time exercising, and I also go on skate most places in the summer and I run on the beach after I swim…" She was kind of just raising her eyebrows at me,

"What! It's fun!" she started laughing at me, and you can really tell the difference when someone laughs _with_ you or _at_ you, and she was laughing _at_ me.

"You are one of the only people that defends working out, I _hate_ going on runs, I don't really mind the gym but...you're addicted Big Guy," I frowned and she had the _audacity_ to laugh at me. She was trying to smother her laughs and giggles from being to loud in the restaurant, but because she covered her mouth she could only inhale through her nose which made her let out a loud _snort_ that sent me into absolute hysterics. She invented a new shade of red with how much she was blushing and smacked my arm and whisper yelled at me,

" _Shut up Johnny it's not funny you asshole!_ " I couldn't really hear her, I was too busy coughing and dying on the floor from laughing to hard and trying (and failing) to contain it.

"Aww come on Ash, it was cute!" this earned me another smack but it was completely worth it.

"I said Shush you jerk! Just pick something to eat," she was laughing along with me so I knew she wasn't mad at me, but she had a point, I was getting pretty hungry and I knew Ash was ready to eat my jacket if nothing was served in the next 15 minutes.

Looking over the menu was another dip into American pop culture, most of the entrees being named after actors and presidents, my favorite so far being a sandwich called "The JFK" which was a Cuban sandwich with a full pickle carved into a rocket; the fact that it was an open face sandwich I ignored. Looking over it I decided to get a 50/50 combo, it was a bacon burger and half regular fries half curly, the curly fries winning me over more than I would care to admit. I mean give a guy a break, Ash wasn't kidding when she said the food in America was worth defecting, and not many places get chips better than Americans. Oh excuse me, _Fries_ , not chips. Say what you want about the Queen's English but Americans mix things up in their bastardized Latin all the time! I was going to comment on the curly _fries_ option to Ash but Marcell came up to the table and distributed the drinks and fabled malts as quick as a whip.

"Here you go! Two waters, in-house coffee, a chocolate and a cookies and cream malt. Y'all need some more time to order or are you ready?"

I looked over the drinks to see if there was anything special about them, but other than the tall metal cups, the malts came in and the extra wide straw.

"Wow these came out fast! Oh yeah, I'll have the Chicken tenders basket with your house salad, thank you." I heard Ash say to the waitress, before she eagerly started to actually chug her malt before I had even thought about reaching for mine. I turned to Marcell and gave her a nod and a smile,

"Thanks for bringing it out so quick, this one might've gone postal had you not. I'll have the 50/50 combo with ranch on the side please?"

We both chuckled at the blush creeping up Ash's cheeks before she kicked my shin in _exactly the same spot_ , before giving me one _Hell_ of an evil eye. Marcell took the time to escape the tiny ball of rage sitting next to me to go put in our orders, leaving Ash and I alone again. I looked over at Ash, but her look of death was _completely_ ruined by the blush that hadn't quite left her puffed up cheeks from her yet to be swallowed malt. An almost audible _gulp_ and a swipe of a sleeve later,

" Shut your trap and drink the damn thing would you," followed by another rather aggressive slurp she drained the rest of hers. How she managed to finish a one and a half liter drink that is thicker than quicksand is anybody's guess, let alone where it all goes or how she magically didn't get a brain freeze. Deciding to bite the bullet, or sip as it were, and tried to get some of the drink. Keyword being here _Tried_.

"This is prank right? You filled my cup with tar or something, or this isn't a real straw? Marcell is in on this isn't she?" I tried everything I could to get at least a single _drop_ , but nothing I did worked. Ash was laughing at my misery, and apparent stupidity, before she took mercy and handed me a large twisted spoon that came with the drinks. Accepting the decorative spoon I stuck the damned thing into the cup and tried to take a scoop to at least _try_ the treat before giving up. It came up soft and slightly drippy but still cohesive, so I finally experienced a _malt_ for the first time.

"It's pretty great, but I've never really been much for sweets as it is, so for all I know this is God's gift to humanity and I wouldn' be able to tell the difference I would think." Truthfully, I think the only thing that saved me from being the next thing on the menu was me handing over my offer-...my malt to her so she could enjoy it whilst I stuck to my coffee. And I know I know, 'a Brit that doesn't like tea? Perish the thought," but every drink has a time and place, so when I'm sitting in the most American diner you can find _IN_ America, with the temperature hitting 0 degrees (That's Celsius for the uncouth among you) the strong kick of coffee would be great at the moment. Plus I had a sneaking suspicion they wouldn' have a proper blend as it is, sticking to that damn _Sugar Syrup_ you Americans called 'Sweet Tea'.

" Mmmm, we'll have to fix that by introducing you to some good ol' American desserts,"

I snorted, "Oh you mean sugar with more sugar and then some butter?" she rested her hand on her chest in mock offence,

"You dare question the sanctity of ' _Rhubarb-Pie_ '"

"Hey hey hey that's a national treasure, I'm talking about your vaunted apple pie you Americans never shut up about, and don't even get me started on your puddings you Americans adore," seeing her confused look at the term ' _pudding'_ I elaborated that it's the term for cake and other baking things that are similar.

"That's one of the _stupidest_ things I've ever heard! Pudding is goopy, slimy, artificial stuff! Not _Cake_!" she had a look of genuine disgust and indignation about the swap. I was about to respond with my own witty comment about Proper English and American English but the large double doors leading into the kitchen popped open again, letting Marcell come out with a burger that had NO business being that large, what basically amounted to 90% of all of Ireland and Idaho combined, a small bucket of ranch, a salad that looked to be more green than Central Park, and what seemed like several deep fried chickens in strip from, but she seemed to handling it like it wasn't any big deal! Coming up to the table she quickly passed out our food, and handed us an extra pile of napkins.

"Alrighty, y'all be needin' anything else?" a quick glance over the veritable mountain of food had everything looking perfect and all together.

"Could I get a top off on that coffee if you could? Other than that everything looks great!"

She nodded her affirmative and walked back into the kitchen with my cup, so I took the chance to finally tuck myself in for the amazing smelling burger when I noticed a thief making off with some of my precious curly fries.

"You have half a chicken coup in front of you, and you dare steal _MY_ fries!" her look of innocence was shattered by the glint of evil food stealing in her eye, well, that and her laughing maniacally but really who's keeping track?

Me..I'm keeping track.

Still, all of the jokes and evil gremlins aside, the smells coming from the table were mouth watering, and I was quickly forgetting about much of what I was doing when confronted with warm food and good company. My first bite was cautionary, not because I was worried about the food per say, more worried about hurting myself trying to get my mouth around the tower of a burger than anything. It was everything you would want from a burger, the patty full of real beef flavor and not the artificial taste of it being frozen and then reheated, the bacon super tasty and crispy, all of the fresh veg that brought a nice texture to the rest of the burger, with really nice and hot jammy onions that rounded everything out perfectly. The giggling I heard from Ash brought my head back up from my burger, only to see her with a hand over her mouth doing everything she could not to burst out laughing. I frowned around the mouth full of burger I had before looking to my right at the polished chrome that acted as a wall decoration. It was a miracle that any of the burger got into my mouth apparently, because it seemed the rest of it was slopped on most visible parts of my face, so I stole a napkin from Ash and gave my face a rubdown, thankfully not getting any of it on my shirt or jacket.

"Yeah yeah it's a sloppy burger and I'm blind, eat your damn chicken nuggets Ash," I said it without any malice but I seemed to have offended her with about something.

"Don't you dare call these glorious tendies mere _nuggets_ heathen!" despite the absurdity of the term _Tendies_ I couldn't help but laugh when she called me a heathen, as if I disrespected the sanctity of the Church of Chicken.

"I'm so terribly sorry _Mistress_ my mind ran before my mouth could follow," sarcasm positively dripping from the regal tone I put on.

Ash stuck her nose up into the air and was no doubt going to reply with something in the same tone when I heard the loud roar of a motorcycle that had a ball bearing in the exhaust, well, that or the poor thing was rattling a bolt somewhere it REALLY shouldn't be anyway. I turned back to my food, but Ash seemed almost afraid of the sound but before I could ask her about it the loud rumbling cut out suddenly and a few moments later the door was shoved open quite forcefully. The color drained from her face so I turned to see what was causing her reaction, so I turned back to see who or what came in and had to suppress a growl when I saw the couple walk in hanging off of eachother. The girl was caked in makeup and had a forgettable face, brown eyes, brown hair, and light olive skin she could have blended in with a bag of clay. The _Insect_ next to her I recognize from the talent show that put on, Wildly spiked hair that was dyed the same colors as Ash that went down to the middle of his back, the slight frame and ripped and stained band tee with jeans more faded than his personality.

Fucking _Lance_.


End file.
